I have an employee, his name is Bob, well Bob is his middle name, but he prefers it over his first name Oscar, so everyone calls him Bob, Bob Lewis. Bob’s job is simple and he does it very well, so well in fact I trust him implicitly to do the job and do it right. In fact he’s worked for me for the last 5 years without a single issue, until now.

Bob’s job is to deliver and receive mail for me, it’s a simple job and Bob loves his work, you could say he was made for it. Bob has a single co-worker, Michael “Ted” Samson. Ted, as everyone calls him is the only other employee that Bob comes into direct contact with on a regular basis. Now Ted’s job is a bit more complex than Bob’s but he does it just as well, and I trust him as much as Bob. Ted’s responsibilities include taking mail from Bob, sorting it and then taking it out to the intended recipients, who in turn will often bring mail back to Ted to give to Bob to bring back to me… It’s a very simple and precise life and work, but they all do it very well.

Unfortunately for Bob, Ted, Jon, Phillip, George and the countless others like them that Ted works between there is another guy in the way that does things that don’t make any logical sense. This bad seed, this ne’er do well, this AsshOLe, Kevin, he calls himself. Kevin likes to stand in the middle of the highway that Bob frequents to get to Ted, and likes to stop Bob and give Bob messages to bring back to me. Bob always comes back down-trodden, with my mail, having not been able to get it all the way to Ted, and he gives me the message sent by Kevin. “Sorry, but I feel that this is unsolicited bulk mail, so I won’t be letting it through today… sincerely Kevin.” Or “Sorry, but Ted is currently unavailable, He’s here, he just can’t be authorized to see Bob today… Sincerely Kevin.”

Now these messages irritate, not only Bob, but me as well, as there seems to be no other reason for these messages other than the simple joy Kevin gets out of giving them and preventing Bob’s work from being completed.

The problem (Kevin), just gets progressively worse for weeks until no mail either direction can come or go, when I finally decide to call Kevin directly and find out what the problem is. Kevin says “I’m sorry sir, but unless you use my mail guy Chuck, I can’t help you. I have no way to stop your mail guy from coming through, it’s not possible for me to stop him, unless you use Chuck, I can stop Chuck, but I can’t act against Bob.” This is a lie, I know it, Kevin knows I know it, but he sticks to his weak story. Kevin, has no idea how the job works, obviously but he insists that he can’t possibly interfere with Bob’s work, unless Bob is coming through Chuck, Which is not the case, as the messages from Kevin are signed by him, and always come back with Bob, before Bob even gets to Ted.

Now, I would normally take my business elsewhere, but unfortunately Kevin is the owner and manager of the only available highway for mail travel where I live. So I have no choice but to use his services for Bob, and Ted to exchange mail.

I would love to kick Kevin’s teeth in, unfortunately he doesn’t actually exist, he’s just a facade that the company uses, a figure head, a face man… He’s all but wires and pulses, and an electronic voice in my ear.

Both Bob and Ted despise Kevin, but they too are at a loss, because without a different and better highway they have to go through Kevin as well.

*The above story was a way for me to get out my frustrations with AOL/Netscape and their horrible technical support staff all named Kevin, and all completely oblivious to the way e-mail works, and the ISP’s roll in sending and receiving e-mails from outlook to a mail server and back. To me it’s a simple concept and I don’t see how they can not get it. We have “Kevin” he is the ISP the connection to the internet, through which all interent communication from my computer to a server has to travel. Kevin is a highway of travel, the only highway. “Bob” is my E-mail client, he helps me write, send and receive e-mails without logging in directly to “Ted” my mail server, where all my e-mails are sorted and delivered to their recipients. Bob needs to communicate with Ted they do this via Kevin, if Bob can’t reach Ted or vice versa then Kevin is directly to blame. Kevin doesn’t understand this. It’s a very long and complicated issue for Kevin, and because there is no other choice here where I live, for now, I have to deal with Kevin and his crap. Yippee! BTW, Kevin actually believes that when I use Bob for e-mail that Kevin has no part in getting the messages to Ted. Well Kevin, how is it that if I use Bob to send messages to Chuck YOUR mail server–only difference here being the domain extension on the e-mail–then you’re involved? Does anybody else see the idiocy?