When Amy first said she’d like to have rats as pets I was hesitant, at least I pretended to be. I’d had rats growing up and they had all passed in untimely manners and I remembered them being for the most part rather un-cuddly and somewhat snappy. But, overall I wasn’t 100% opposed to the idea of getting some rats, if not for my own joy but definitely for the joy of the woman I love with all my heart.

And there in lies the main problem.

This woman I love, she’s a lover of all things animal. She’s got an extra gene that makes them love her back. It’s a connection I neither understand or possess. But, it’s this connection that makes it difficult for me to be satisfied with obtaining and giving her animals, because I know that from a logical point of view that they will die someday—most likely sooner than we’d like. For me and a lot of other folks a pet passing away is not a life altering event, sure it hurts and we’ll cry, but life will move forward and we will be OK. For Amy though, this is not the case, she is devastated at loss, especially when it’s someone she loves. And I love this about her. A lot.

Needless to say I put on a front and denied permission to get rats as I felt they were “filthy” and “terrible” pets. Of course I didn’t mean a word of it, it was all part of my set-up. Of course in my spare time when I wasn’t pretending to be very against owning rats, I was researching and searching for a pair of rats to make my lady happy. I found some that would be ready in time for Mother’s Day, what better gift then new babies on Mother’s Day! I made the arrangements and kept up my charade.

I brought Spike and Doyle home on Mother’s Day to an elated and excited Amy whom feverishly lavished them with more love and attention than any pair of rat babies could ever hope for. Her concern and care and attachment to all our pets makes her a great woman and when it comes time to say goodbye to these pets it’s very, very hard for her and in turn me (as I can’t stand to see her in pain).

All this brings us to Yesterday.

We’ve always suspected Spike was blind or at least very near so. But, we couldn’t be sure as he always behaved quite normally and he got quite large alongside his brother Doyle, big, fat, well feed and loved rats. Even our other animals loved the rats. A week ago Spike began to withdraw and discontinue eating and drinking we were worried. Then he began having brown tears and losing weight fast. Unfortunately rats commonly don’t show symptoms of illness until it’s too late to really do anything for them aside from make them comfortable. Which we did the best we could. But, yesterday after one week of failing to drink anything and eating very little if at all, we decided it was best for him to take him to the vet and see if there was anything that could be done, we were also prepared to put him to sleep if need be to end his suffering.

The result of the trip was what we had feared and prepared for. William “Spike” Mathias was put to sleep.

Amy held him as he drifted away quietly praying in his ear the whole while. Promising him a healthier body and life on the other side. It was hard on all of us, and I don’t think anyone got by without shedding a tear.

We’ll miss you Spike, but things will get better for you, our blessed soul, we’ll see you again.