This the story of why I left the 9rules network. This story is not one of intrigue or conspiracy. No complaints or grudges will be found within this story. You’ll be disappointed if you expect too much. This is a story about why I left, nothing more.

When I first submitted leihu.com to 9rules for inclusion it was during the second round of open submissions. Back then leihu had a slightly different coat of paint, basically the same as it is now, just not as polished or thought out. But, the network was about quality content, not design. And I had the same quality content then as I did in round four when I was accepted, then invited to join.

I didn’t submit for round three as I felt a little jilted that my site had not been accepted in round two. I didn’t make a big deal out of it I just moved on. I redesigned for the forty-fifth time, what you see now is what I created.

I submitted leihu.com to the CSS reboot, and from there it just exploded. Suddenly everyone was talking about my site, my five year old site that had always been here just waiting to be noticed. The galleries were featuring me, I was in seemingly everyone’s top 10 reboots lists, it was overwhelming, but felt really nice. When 9rules round four open submissions came up I thought, lets see.

I was surprised and also not surprised to see I had been accepted.

Most folks that had been accepted were elated and overjoyed. Not I. Instead I was jilted again. I felt that my content, which hadn’t changed in quality, only in quantity between rounds should have gotten me invited before, so as insecure people often do I began to question the 9rules network and the way things really were—I have issues, I know.

I eventually decided after some prodding by Colin and Mike to join 9rules. I was still weary so I took it in slowly and tried to be a good member.

Joining turned out to be one of the best things I’ve ever done. And I’m glad I did.

However, and this is the meat of the story, I decided the week before last after some deep introspection, some head-banging and a little discussion with a few friends that I needed to move on.

To drop the leaf and leave the club.

I didn’t—still don’t—have plans to join another club, or to leave the 9rules community all together. I just couldn’t be a card-carrying member any longer. I didn’t fit anymore.

I’m not real good with words, so I’m going to let the Avett Brothers tell you my reason for leaving.

"I once heard the worse thing
A man could do is draw a hungry crowd
Tell everyone his name, pride, and confidence
But leaving out his doubt
I’m not sure I bought those words
When I was young I knew most everything
These words have never meant so much to anyone
As they now mean to me"

The above lyric is from a song called The Weight of Lies. After hearing it for the third time—incidentally while I was working out—it changed my life in ways I’ve yet to fathom. I think the above verse tells my truth, without pointing fingers and without hurting feelings that don’t need hurting, yet allowing me to be 100% honest and open with myself which is something that I take pride in.

So now I find myself sans leaf, without private forum access and yet still surrounded by friends and a community that I love.

It was time to move on, and I’m proud of myself for following my heart and realizing my needs.

To all my friends in the 9rules network, it was a huge blast, and I’ll never regret having the opportunity to have met you and talked and shared with you. You all helped me realize something about the internet that not all it’s users are privy to.

There can exist real friendships in cyberspace.

Thanks to Paul, Mike and Tyme for hooking me up, even if it was 2 rounds late