A Trap of My Own Making

by james mathias / 2009 / personal

Food. We all need it to survive, some of us however abuse it, not unlike alcohol. I’m one of those abusers.

For thirty-five years I lived under the assumption that I could escape myself through food, I hit four-hundred and fifty-two pounds. Over the last three years I have slowly learned how wrong I’d been. I lost one-hundred and forty pounds, gained back forty, lost twenty, gained sixty and so on and so forth.

I woke up recently and weighed three-hundred and seventy-six pounds. I’d let food win. Again.

I immediately decided to fight back, to not let my life be overrun by the once comforting and debilitating giver and taker of life. I recruited my wife to help, there was no way I could do it on my own. She began planning meals and rationing my food. I rededicated myself to a workout plan and got back to the gym.

Now, I eat when and what she says. Lu plans and prepares six meals daily, all highly nutritious, well rounded, sensibly portioned and fully satisfying. I no longer stress out over food and my cravings are much easier to control. I exercise nine to twelve times weekly.

For the first time in thirty-five years I am completely satisfied and content with food as a source of nutrition and sustenance as opposed to a means of escape.

I have lost forty-seven pounds in the last fifty-five days utilizing healthy eating habits, daily exercise routine and lowering my overall stress levels about food.

I’m gradually escaping a trap of my own making. The cage of fat and stress I’d built around the real me.

Originally posted here: 30pov.com

Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard.
Do not let the pain make you hate.
Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness.
Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place.

Kurt Vonnegut circa unknown