Hey Pop.

by james mathias / 2016 / personal

I saw a picture of us today. Your sister posted it on Facebook.

I don’t remember posing for it, but I sure look proud to be with you. You look awake in the picture. Young, very young. I remember you being that young, but I don’t remember the picture.

I miss you a lot.

I think about how towards the end, I could have come and seen you, but I didn’t, cause I was busy with life. And I’m sorry about that. I regret it.

I miss you a lot.

I miss talking to you, I miss confiding in you. I miss looking up at you.

I miss you a lot.

Pop, I know you tried. I know you loved me. I know you had internal struggles and things that kept you away and distance at times. I know that’s not what you wanted, I know how much it hurt to not be the man and father you wished you could be.

I miss you a lot old man.

Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard.
Do not let the pain make you hate.
Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness.
Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place.

Kurt Vonnegut circa unknown